Hold the phone! Literally. If you’re checking your cell during sex with your sweetie, it might be time to call it quits. Yes, you heard that right. Nothing spoils a steamy roll in the hay like watching your partner roll over to answer a text, take a call, or scroll through work emails mid-romp.
A whopping 1 in 5 daters admit to taking an extended peek at their devices while knocking boots with their boo, according to a study on the adverse effects phone fixation can have on partnered sex. And it gets worse: another study has found that 36 percent of people under 35 admit to checking Facebook, texting, or Tweeting right after sex... We are living in a time where the dopamine rush of a new notification seems to compete with, if not surpass, the thrill of physical intimacy. Phone addiction is real, folks, and it's wreaking havoc on our relationships.
The Stats That Will Make You Swipe Left
So, how did we get here? Let's dive into some numbers that might make you want to throw your phone out the window (or at least leave it in another room). On average, Brits spend about 3.34 hours a day on their phones, adding up to a staggering 100 hours a month. It's no wonder that 45% of Brits believe social media has negatively impacted their relationships, with 30% of Gen Z feeling less confident after scrolling through their feeds. In the US, the average screen time per day is even higher, hitting 7 hours and 3 minutes. This highlights how deeply entrenched our digital habits have become, influencing every aspect of our daily lives, including our intimate moments.
Phones during sex?
It's not just a case of a quick check during foreplay. The problem runs deeper, as some individuals are so hooked on their devices that they’ve even posted on social media during or immediately after sex. This shift in priorities underscores a significant societal change where virtual validation is increasingly valued over physical intimacy.
This brings us to the rising trend of "phubbing." We’ve all heard of ghosting and breadcrumbing, but have you heard of phubbing? It’s a blend of "phone" and "snubbing," describing the act of ignoring your partner in favor of your phone. This behavior isn't just rude; it's a profound symptom of our growing dependency on technology.
According to research, phubbing can lead to significant relationship dissatisfaction. When your phone gets more attention than your partner, it's a clear sign that something's gone awry. This behavior has even been linked to marital issues, highlighting how deep the problem goes.
Phubbing disrupts the essential emotional connections that form the foundation of intimate relationships. It's not merely about the act of checking your phone; it's about the message it sends—that your device is more important than your partner. This perceived neglect can erode trust, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction. In a society where instant gratification and constant connectivity are prioritized, the simple act of being fully present with your partner is becoming a rare commodity.
Experts argue that this phenomenon reflects broader social trends. Our increasing reliance on digital interactions can diminish our capacity for deep, meaningful connections. The convenience and constant stimulation provided by smartphones can make real-life interactions seem slow and unrewarding by comparison. This shift can lead to a cycle where individuals seek more digital engagement, further distancing themselves from their partners and real-life relationships.
The Unsexy Epidemic: Phones Over Partners
Sarah McConomy, COO of SellCell.com, paints a grim picture: "People are struggling to function without their smartphones in every aspect of their life—even in the bedroom." Her research found that people check their phones around 100 times a day. That's more often than most people eat, drink, or even glance at their partners.
The pandemic only worsened this trend. With isolation and lockdowns, our phones became our lifelines. But now, even as the world reopens, it seems we've brought our bad habits with us. "The pattern has cemented a reliance on our 'handheld partners,'" says McConomy.
The impact on relationships is profound. 54% of people prefer spending time with their phones over their partners. Imagine that: cozying up with a cold, hard screen instead of a warm, loving person. It’s a tragic comedy—funny until you realize the implications. Our need for instant gratification and constant connection is reprogramming our brains, leaving little room for genuine human interaction.
Practical Steps to Overcome Phone Addiction
Set Boundaries: Create tech-free zones in your home, especially the bedroom.
Digital Detox: Plan regular breaks from your phone. Start small and gradually increase the time spent offline.
Communicate: Have open conversations with your partner about phone use and its impact on your relationship.
Prioritize Real Connection: Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with your partner without the distraction of screens.
Seek Help if Needed: If phone addiction is significantly affecting your life, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor.
Reclaiming Intimacy from the Digital World
The message is clear: If your phone is getting more action than your partner, it’s time for a serious relationship reevaluation. Imagine how much more fulfilling your love life could be if you swapped those endless scrolls for meaningful connections.
Next time you feel the urge to check your phone during a romantic moment, remind yourself of the importance of being present. This isn't just about giving your partner attention; it's about enriching your own life and deepening your intimate connections. Prioritize the person in front of you over the screen in your hand.
Turn off. Tune in. Love on.