Things are getting intense, everything is going great, and then, out of nowhere, she asks you to grab the lube. Suddenly, your mind starts racing—does she think I’m not doing enough? Is something wrong? You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt that little sting to the ego in moments like this.
The discomfort men feel around using lube is more common than you think, and it’s rooted in outdated ideas of masculinity. There's this unspoken belief that if things aren’t flowing naturally, something must be off. But the reality is far simpler: lube is just a tool that can make sex better for everyone.
So, how do you really feel when lube comes into play?
Why Does Lube Shaming Happen?
Lube shaming stems from deep-rooted misconceptions about sexual performance and pleasure. For many men, there’s a belief that if your partner asks for lube, it’s a reflection of your sexual prowess or attraction levels—this couldn’t be further from the truth. There’s also the notion that if your partner doesn’t need lube with you, then you’re a “real macho.” But sexual arousal and lubrication don’t always align, and it’s important to understand that physical readiness can vary, no matter how intense the moment feels.
Let’s be honest: we’ve all probably said or thought something like the following at some point in our lives:
“What, am I not turning you on enough?”
“You need lube? Don’t worry, I’ll get you there without it.”
“I’ve never needed lube before, why would I now?”
“It’s supposed to be natural—why complicate it with stuff like lube?”
These kinds of comments usually come from insecurity, but they can make your partner feel uncomfortable or guilty for asking. Recognizing and addressing these reactions can shift the conversation into a healthier, more safe space for both of you.
Society often associates the need for lube with something “wrong.” Men may think their partner isn’t turned on enough, while women might feel embarrassed or inadequate for needing it. But the reality is, sexual responses are complex, and factors like hydration, stress, and hormones can all affect natural lubrication.
The truth is, adding lube to the mix can enhance pleasure for both partners, yet stigma keeps some people from fully embracing it.
Say goodbye to Myths Around Lube
One of the biggest myths about lube is that it’s only for people who aren’t turned on enough or for older couples. But here’s the thing: even if your partner is extremely attracted to you and fully aroused, their body might not always produce enough natural lubrication. This isn’t a reflection of your attractiveness or the chemistry between you—it’s simply biology.
Sometimes, the body and mind don’t always sync up. You or your partner might be mentally fired up, but your body doesn’t immediately respond with the wetness you expect. This is called sexual non-concordance, where arousal and lubrication don’t always align. It’s a natural part of sexual experiences, so reaching for lube is nothing to feel insecure about.
There’s also the idea that lube is only a backup plan or a "fix." In reality, lube enhances pleasure and can reduce the chances of discomfort or injury, like micro-tears, which can lead to infections. Adding lube into your routine can make every touch and thrust smoother, more enjoyable, and more relaxed.
So, don’t wait for dryness to grab the bottle; think of lube as an enhancer, something that adds to the mix, no matter how things are going.
Bringing Lube Into the Conversation (and Bedroom)
Let’s drop the myth that real men don’t need lube. True confidence lies in prioritizing pleasure and comfort—for both you and your partner. Using lube isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s about making the experience better for everyone involved.
You can easily bring lube into the mix by keeping it close and making it part of the fun. Try slipping it into foreplay with a playful line like, “Let’s turn things up a notch,” or casually introduce it mid-action when things heat up—your partner will likely be grateful for the extra sensation.
And if you're new to lubes, get ready: Next week, we’re releasing a full collection of lubricants, perfect for every kind of play. Whether it’s water-based for toys or desensitizing options for more adventurous moments, we’ve got you covered!
Comments